{"id":8122,"date":"2018-03-31T01:49:55","date_gmt":"2018-03-31T01:49:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pkjj.org\/?p=8122"},"modified":"2018-03-31T01:49:55","modified_gmt":"2018-03-31T01:49:55","slug":"%f0%9f%91%87-dear-parents-of-america-or-anywhere-else-ive-decided-that-we-need-to-have-a-little-chat-you-have-to-do-better-you-owe-it-to-me-to-the-trans-community-and-to-your-ki","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/?p=8122","title":{"rendered":"&#x1f447; \u201cDear Parents of America or Anywhere Else: I\u2019ve decided that we need to have a little chat. You have to do better. You owe it to me, to the trans community, and to your kids\u2019 emotional development to do better. When your child turned to you and said \u201cLook, that boy is wearing lipstick!\u201d what they were really doing was asking a question. Beneath every observation of difference is an implied question about whether or not that difference is acceptable. When you turned to your child and awkwardly said \u201cIt\u2019s not nice to talk about strangers,\u201d you not only didn\u2019t answer their question, you effectively shut down what could\u2019ve been a productive and affirming conversation. You took a moment when your child could\u2019ve learned an important lesson about how to respect the broad diversity of gender expression, and reduced it to a tangential and less important lesson about manners in public. Furthermore, by demonstrating your own discomfort with the situation, you made your kids uncomfortable too \u2014 inadvertently furthering the culture of stigma and discomfort that surrounds gender-nonconforming people. The next time your child turns to you and says, \u201cLook! That boy is wearing lipstick!\u201d You could say \u201cYes, Johnny, sometimes boys do wear lipstick and that is perfectly okay. You can wear lipstick too if you want!\u201d Or you could say, \u201cWhy yes, Sarah, she is wearing a bowtie. Girls and boys can both wear bowties. Would you like one?\u201d Or, if your child is a savant, you could even say \u201cYes, Tabitha. While we are often presented with the myopic notion that gender is biological in nature, it\u2019s actually a socially constructed, performative\/discursive system that creates hegemonic power within society and varies across cultures, time, and anthropological space.\u201d Any one of these responses (particularly the last one) not only answers the question that your child is really asking you, it also teaches your child, early on, to respect the natural diversity of gender in our world. Equally importantly, it opens up new possibilities for your child to lovingly explore their own gender identity in years to come.\u201d \u2014@jacobtobia #gender #gendernonconforming"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><img src='https:\/\/scontent.cdninstagram.com\/vp\/55719fb79070926343aa9bb68dd7a45b\/5B75D22C\/t51.2885-15\/s640x640\/sh0.08\/e35\/29095523_564013313981010_5361751071117017088_n.jpg' style='max-width:600px;' \/><\/p>\n<div>via Instagram https:\/\/ift.tt\/2pRQkLJ<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>via Instagram https:\/\/ift.tt\/2pRQkLJ<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[10,11],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8122"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8122"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8122\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8123,"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8122\/revisions\/8123"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pkjj.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}